Passion-Led Learning: Empowering Homeschool Success through Coaching

By Mary Winfield Dr. Stanley Greenspan developed the Developmental, Individual Difference, Relationship-Based Model (DIR Method) in 1979 to support children with autism and other learning challenges. This method provides a personalized approach to learning, helping parents and educators create structured, engaging, and meaningful interactions. While originally designed for children with special needs, the DIR Method is beneficial for all students. What makes it powerful is that it doesn’t offer a one-size-fits-all solution—instead, it focuses on each child's unique strengths, interests, and needs. Rather than just addressing learning difficulties, this approach builds a solid foundation for lifelong growth and development. Let’s break down the three key parts of the DIR Method and explore how it can be applied in a homeschool setting. D = Developmental Every child develops at their own pace. The DIR Method encourages incremental progress rather than jumping too far ahead. For example, if a child is nonverbal, setting a goal for them to hold long conversations with peers would be unrealistic. Instead, the focus should be on small, achievable steps—like learning to point to a picture to make a request, then moving toward using simple words. Skipping developmental steps often leads to frustration for both the child and the parent. By focusing on where your child is now and what comes next, you create a smoother and more effective learning path. I = Individual Difference Every child is unique, with different interests, strengths, and challenges. The DIR Method recognizes that learning isn’t just about following a curriculum—it’s about engaging your child in a way that makes sense to them. When lessons connect with a child’s natural curiosity, learning happens more easily. Think about how much faster kids absorb information when they’re excited about a topic! Incorporating your child’s interests—whether it’s dinosaurs, space, or music—can help them stay engaged and motivated. Try This: Use LEGO bricks for math if your child loves building Let them act out historical events if they enjoy storytelling Find nature-based activities if they learn best outdoors The key is to tap into what excites them and use that as a tool for teaching. R = Relationship-Based As the saying goes, “They don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” Children thrive in relationships where they feel safe, valued, and understood. If a child sees learning as a checklist of tasks rather than an opportunity to connect, they are more likely to resist. But when parents and educators prioritize relationships, children become more open to learning. Try This: Take learning breaks for connection (e.g., play a game together or share a story) Show flexibility on tough days—sometimes a child needs support more than structure Find ways to make learning personal by using inside jokes, shared experiences, or family traditions Real-Life Application: How I Used DIR with a Struggling Student When I worked in a public school, I was assigned to support a kindergartener named Steve who struggled with focus and behavior. He was constantly moving, had trouble paying attention, and often acted out. One day, instead of taking a break during recess, I joined him in play. We pretended to be pirates searching for treasure, running from imaginary crocodiles. Later that afternoon, I was shocked—Steve sat longer, focused more, and engaged in his work for the first time all year. From then on, I incorporated his interests into learning. We counted “buried treasure” for math and created pirate-themed reading activities. By the end of the year, his teachers and parents were amazed by his progress. The key wasn’t stricter discipline—it was building a relationship and making learning meaningful to him. A Simple Framework for Homeschooling with DIR Think of the DIR Method as a tree: Roots = Relationships (the foundation of learning) Trunk = Interests & Strengths (what holds learning together) Branches & Fruit = Developmental Goals (the skills we want to nurture) By focusing on relationship, interest, and development, we can create a homeschool environment where learning feels natural, engaging, and fulfilling. Want to Learn More? If you’re interested in diving deeper into the DIR Method, Profectum is a great resource for further learning. By using these principles in your homeschool, you can help your child feel supported, motivated, and excited to learn.

By Mary Winfield Have you heard about Temple Grandin? If not, you should definitely learn more about her—she’s amazing. During a time when children with autism were often institutionalized, her mother refused to give up on her, even when doctors said Temple would never speak or function independently. Because of her mother’s persistence, Temple went on to earn a Ph.D. in Animal Science and has become a worldwide advocate for autism awareness. If you’d like to learn more about her journey, HBO created an excellent movie about her life (available for free on Amazon Prime). She has also authored several books, including The Loving Push, co-written with Debra Moore, which I recently read. This book is a must-read for parents of pre-teens and teenagers with high-functioning autism. It provides invaluable guidance on helping them become independent, successful adults. Topics include managing depression, addressing video game addiction, and preparing teenagers for driving. The book also shares real-life experiences from different families, making it a relatable and practical resource. One of the most insightful parts of The Loving Push focuses on preparing teens for life after high school. The authors interviewed a college professor who has worked with many autistic students. He identified four key areas where they often struggle: Household and Personal Care Many autistic teens manage personal care and chores well at home because their parents remind them. However, they may not fully understand when or why tasks need to be done. For example, parents often tell their child when to shower, but they don’t always teach them how to recognize signs that indicate it’s time (e.g., greasy hair, body odor, or sweat from physical activity). Providing clear guidelines—such as how often to shower or when extra showers might be needed—can help them build independence. The same applies to household chores. Teens might not notice when something needs cleaning, but explaining specific cues (e.g., “If the trash is full, take it out”) or setting a schedule helps them take responsibility. Using Organizational Aids Parents often structure the schedules and routines of autistic children, but it’s crucial to teach them how to organize their own tasks. Instead of overwhelming them with too many skills at once, focus on setting priorities and meeting deadlines. Help your child practice by involving them in planning their homeschool curriculum or weekly schedule. Show them how to break goals into steps, create to-do lists, and decide what to tackle first. These executive functioning skills are essential for success in adulthood. Asking for Help The interviewed professor noted that many autistic students could complete their assignments if they simply asked for help. However, because they’re not accustomed to reaching out, they often assume they just “can’t do it” and give up. Parents can model and encourage help-seeking behavior. Instead of always stepping in when your child struggles, teach them to ask for assistance. A great way to reinforce this skill is to introduce a mentor—someone they can turn to for guidance outside of their immediate family. This fosters independence while giving them a trusted resource to practice asking for help. Maintaining a Stable Mood Managing emotions and responding appropriately to challenges can be difficult for autistic teens. One strategy from The Loving Push is giving specific, meaningful feedback. For example, instead of saying, “You’re so kind,” say, “Helping me with the dishes was kind. It made me feel happy and proud of you.” This reinforces the behavior and its positive impact. Additionally, teaching resilience is crucial. When your child experiences failure or frustration, remind them of their past successes and help them find solutions. Pointing out their strengths and acknowledging that everyone has weaknesses can provide perspective and encouragement. The Loving Push: Encouraging Growth with Support The book’s title perfectly captures the approach parents should take—gently but firmly pushing their child to step outside their comfort zone. Many autistic teens prefer routines and predictability, making it easy for them to avoid trying new things. It’s up to us to provide that “loving push” so they can build confidence and independence. With the right support and gradual encouragement, they can successfully transition into adulthood.