Lessons from My Early Homeschooling Years: Mistakes, Growth, and Grace

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By Dyana Robbins

There’s nothing quite like the excitement of starting something new. The sense of adventure, hopefulness, and promise can be intoxicating. Some people embrace a new challenge with enthusiasm bordering on fanaticism. I am one of them. This was especially true when I began homeschooling.

I chose homeschooling out of a deep conviction that it was the best option for my son, a decision shaped by my experiences with all the alternatives. Those experiences led me to reroute my career and life to meet his needs.

Fueled by determination, I embraced homeschooling like a drowning person grabs a flotation device. While those bumpy beginnings brought great rewards, eleven years later, I also see the mistakes I made. Here are some lessons I’ve learned along the way.

1. Jumping into a Pressure Cooker

The intense responsibility and commitment I felt toward my son drove me to extremes. I threw myself into learning everything about homeschooling and quickly began to believe it was the best educational option—for everyone.

Not only that, I adopted a specific homeschooling philosophy that idealized parental authority and influence. This approach promised solutions to cultural and educational problems through stronger parental involvement. While I still value many aspects of this philosophy, I now see how I misplaced my hope in a method rather than viewing it as one tool among many for helping my son.

This idealization left me feeling stressed when our family didn’t mirror the lifestyle or results promoted by the movement. Instead of being a relaxed and joyful homeschool mom, I became driven and overly focused on reaching an ideal, which only deepened our struggles.

You can avoid this mistake: Don’t put homeschooling—or any one method—on a pedestal.

2. Defending Our Decision

When we decided to homeschool, we didn’t know anyone else who had done it. The idea felt foreign and radical, and I struggled with self-doubt. This made others’ questions about our decision feel personal and even painful.

I responded to both curious inquiries and criticism with lengthy explanations. In hindsight, these explanations rarely changed anyone’s mind. Over time, however, friends, family, and professionals came to respect our decision—not because of my arguments, but because they saw the results.

3. Treating Homeschooling as Insurance

Part of homeschooling’s appeal for me was its ability to insulate my son from bullying and negative social pressures. While homeschooling does provide some protection, it’s not foolproof. We still encountered challenges in co-ops and social gatherings.

Deep down, I wanted a formula that guaranteed success. Despite my efforts to avoid that trap, I fell into it anyway. At some point, I began trusting homeschooling as a safeguard against the struggles my children would inevitably face.

Homeschooling has been a wonderful tool for shaping and disciplining our children, but it is just that—a tool. Real protection and transformation come from God, not a specific educational choice.

4. Doubting My Decisions

Curriculum, therapies, activities—you name it, I doubted it. Every decision felt monumental, and I worried that one misstep could derail my children’s future.

Thankfully, experience taught me that most choices can be tweaked or changed without catastrophic consequences. Veteran homeschooling moms reassured me that I didn’t need to have everything figured out. Their wisdom lifted a heavy burden from my shoulders.

If you’re stuck in this cycle of doubt, take heart: You don’t have to get it all right to succeed.

5. Falling into the Comparison Trap

If you want peace, avoid comparing your homeschool, family, or life to others’. Early on, I sought affirmation by measuring our progress against other families, hoping to feel encouraged. Spoiler alert: It didn’t work.

Comparison is a joy killer. It leads to either pride or despair—neither of which fosters a healthy homeschool environment.

We all know that each family’s needs are unique, yet comparisons are pervasive in homeschooling circles. Whether we’re discussing curriculum, teaching methods, or lifestyle, it’s easy to let comparisons creep into the conversation.

Guard your heart against forming harsh judgments—of yourself or others. Instead, focus on being an encouragement to fellow homeschoolers.

In Conclusion

Reflecting on my early homeschooling mistakes is bittersweet. Sharing them with you is humbling, but I hope it encourages you. If my story resonates with you, know this: Homeschooling doesn’t have to be marked by fear, doubt, or striving. You can choose a different path.

If you’re wondering how someone as crazy, immature, and fearful as I was got into homeschooling, I’m with you. But God often uses the foolish things of the world to confound the wise. I’m living proof of that truth.

By His grace, our sons have grown beyond every prognosis they were given. They are well on their way to becoming productive members of society (that’s a joke—they absolutely will be!). We’re still learning, growing, and changing, and I’m sure I’ll make new mistakes along the way.

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